Almost a Year

On December 23rd, 2007 my best friend was hit while a passenger in a classmates car, by a drunk driver and this accident almost took her life. She had to be cut from the car while pieces still remained lodged in her body and then flown to Shock Trauma at the University of Maryland. Her heart stopped beating a couple of times on the way there. She suffered from a serious head injury, her arm and thigh was cut by the frame of the car which required her muscles be sown back together, her ribs broken and her face burned by the air bag. The guy that caused the accident was beyond drunk and he hit an off-duty firefighter and that car hit my best friend's side of the car.


She left her house that afternoon because her classmate needed access to the lab and my best friend had her key-card and he did not. So he swung by to pick her up and take her to the school so he could get in. It was 3:15 PM in the afternoon. The drunk guy walked away from the accident, the off duty firefighter lost his life and my best friend is still suffering from the consequences. I am unsure of the extent of the injuries of the guy driving my best friend, but nothing near what she experienced.

BF has struggled to gain use of her arm and leg, she suffers from intense headaches which make her light and sound sensitive the same way a migraine would, and she has undergone lumbar punctures and holes drilled into her head to drain the fluid in her brain that builds up and creates intense pressure and this is all well after the accident. If effects her ability to do things every single day. She was a college athlete and although she has heart problems she was high functioning and terribly active. She had JUST reached a point before this accident in which she was resuming her status as an athlete and able to play her sport again after overcoming her eating disorder.

In less than a minute all of it was taken away and now we celebrate small accomplishments such as being able to walk for a longer period of time, get up the stairs without loosing balance, extending her arm above her to a certain height, etc. We are thankful for the days in which she doesn't have an excruciating headache and we joke at her uncanny ability to judge the elevation of the road we are on based on the pressure in her head, but every day it's there. The most disturbing part of the whole thing is not the physical limitations, it's not the anger I have at the drunk driver, it's that because my best friend is always caring for everyone else she is constantly beating herself up for not being able to do certain things like she used to. She feels as if she has control over her physical abilities and if she just tries harder or does better she won't be a 'burden' on anyone else. She feels as if she should be over this by now.

She is an amazing person and none of this is ON her. None of it. She was just being a nice person and ended up in an awful situation. This is the same person that spent seven days living in tents at the Pentagon after 9/11 fighting that fire and saving people, the same person that as an EMS saved lives day in and day out, the same person that is almost done her PhD in spite of having terrible difficulties reading and comprehending (while a freaking math wizard she has a learning disability) and on a more personal level, the same person that has supported every thing I have done, has sat up with me more nights than I can count talking me off a ledge, flying down to see me frequently, helped me move down to Atlanta and the same person that drove over 12 hours in February (after her accident) to be with me when I lost my pregnancy. None of what happened last December was her fault and it shouldn't have happened to her, but it did. It kills me to think that she feels as if she should be better, she can't and at this point she has accomplished more than any person I know. To me it's a miracle that she can walk and talk and on this trip she fucking went bowling. She shouldn't be able to do that yet! They told her she may never regain use of her arm, and she has proven them wrong.

I cannot express my amazement over her accomplishments or her ability to continue to fight and fight to get better. This Thanksgiving she sat in front of me and expressed her Thankfulness at this past year and it took every ounce of me to not just jump up and hug her and begin some ridiculously uncomfortable crying and rejoicing over her.

She is my hero.

Vacation Re-Cap

Today, life resumes it's normal schedule and it makes me sad and anxious, yet I am craving the predictability of my routine. My vacation was much needed and I was able to decompress from work but at the same time the end of vacation marks the end of 'being ok because the holidays are not right here'.

So here is a little recap of my time spent with my best friend (which I am unsure of how accurate it will be because some days blended together):

Wednesday BF got here, her plane got in by 8AM which was nice because we had the whole day and it wasn't rushed to pick her up and get somewhere and get home. We had breakfast together and then went shopping for a blender for Thanksgiving cooking. We didn't do much that day but end up at Therapist's office for my appointment. Thursday was cooking and cooking and cooking, and it was awesome. Friday we went to Piedmont Park with my dog to walk off her energy as well as grab some photos for an art project idea I had.
We had lunch somewhere in there and then headed out to get the photos printed etc. I started the project that night.

Saturday we went to my Eating Disorders Anonymous meeting where I learned I will be the discussion leader next week. After that we went bowling with my roommate which was pretty darn fun and BF was able to do it!!! Since her accident last December where the muscle in her arm (amongst other places) was severed an activity like bowling proved too much strain, so this was a huge accomplishment and I couldn't have been more proud of her. She also ended up kicking my butt as usual. Sunday we saw the James Bond movie with my roommate early in the day and then we spent the afternoon relaxing and then put up the Christmas tree. This was BF's first time decorating a tree and she rocked it out. Our tree is so pretty and I am thankful she was here this year to help. Yesterday we put the finishing touches on the art project.

The idea behind the project was to take multiple photos of the Atlanta skyline in different ways and put them all together on a curved surface to create a better image that your eyes can perceive size and depth better because of the curve...with an artistic edge. We did it! Upon the completion of the art project we headed to Atlantic Station to see "Bodies: The Exhibition" which was amazing. Check out the website to see if it is in your area any time in the near future. I had my own personal guide (BF) because she is like queen of all things body related. I learned a lot and now I know what my insides look like! Soon after it was time for BF to get to the airport for her flight home.

I was a great couple of days...and I am thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving Blogger

I hope everyone is having an awesome Thanksgiving. I am enjoying the vacation with my best friend celebrating with me. Since she is such an awesome photographer I have some pictures of our Thanksgiving Dinner to share with all of you.

Carrots

Our Cranberry Orange Cookies

Random Onion

We used a lot of these today.

Our Dinner, Turkey, Corn Stuff, Candied Sweet Potatoes, Biscuits, Carrots and Stuffing.

The Final Product

I am thankful for all of you here on blogger, what you are you thankful for?

Happy Thoughts.

Lately I have been posting about negative and sad things, and there is nothing wrong with that but I decided for this post I will begin with a list of positives in my life before I get into all the not-so-fun stuff. I may try to make this a weekly habit. Gratitudes and thankful-ness can lighten the spirit.

<------ My first positive. That's my doggie, her name is Carly but she is mostly referred to as 'Carls Barkley'. She is so sweet and social and comes from a terrible home. She was adopted by my room-mate about 2 years ago and she is still learning to trust and socialize outside of her home. I've been taking her to parks every couple of days or so and each time it's getting easier. She is leash walking so much better and listening to commands with very minimal discipline. I can't wait to see her at her full potential!

<------ Having fun! A couple of weekends ago I went to a water park with friends. It was the first time I had been in public with a two-piece and I enjoyed myself! It's great to be a kid sometimes and just enjoy the day without thinking a million thoughts that are negative and judgmental. That's me in the picture coming down a 90ft water slide, I wasn't scared either. I just closed my eyes and told myself to have a good time, and I did.

Other positives:
-My graphic design stuff is moving into a new level and I am starting to become proud of my projects. Liking my work has always been hard for me, but lately I have quite a bit of pride attached.
-I started volunteering with developmentally disabled adults, teaching them computer skills and it is very rewarding. I am looking forward to having that as a permanent activity on my schedule to break up the week.
-I'm looking into riding lessons also, to give me an activity that is just for me with no strings attached where I can enjoy myself and recharge my emotional energy.

Gratitudes:
-I am thankful for diet coke, without it I'd have no energy at work.
-I am thankful for all the customers that remembered it was my birthday and took the time to call and wish me a great day.
-I am thankful for the friends I have in my life that take the time to check in on me and provide me with stability and security.
-I am thankful for my therapist, even though we struggle and butt heads more often than not, she is safe and the most patient person I have ever met.

I had planned on going into more about therapy related stuff, but I think I am just going to keep it like this for now. Positive.